What is a Normal Person? - Susan Taylor Brand

What is a normal person? According to Collins Dictionary, “a normal person has no serious physical or mental health problems.” But it’s so much more than that. Because there are so many things in which you could be normal. Or abnormal.

Then there’s the fact that the question of what is a normal person is controversial in itself, with some people saying that there *is* a normal type and that being normal is desirable, and some types attacking the idea of normality as a dangerous construct designed to oppress people..

To make it more confusing, you could be normal in one thing, and abnormal in something else.

Let’s consider something as simple as average height and weight …

Some Normal-People Statistics

Normal Height, Weights and Waistline:

Men:
Height in inches: 69.0, or five feet, nine inches
Weight in pounds: 199.8
Waist circumference in inches: 40.5
Women:
Height in inches: 63.5 or five feet, three and a half inches
Weight in pounds: 170.8
Waist circumference in inches: 38.7

But there’s no rules about at what point one might be considered abnormal. Within ten percentage points of the average? Within 30? And what about if your weight was average, but your height was not?

Let’s Define Terms

The first thing I want to do here is to define terms. When we say “normal” we are talking about the condition of being like others. It is, on some level, a comparison. I remember when I was a kid, all the boys in fifth grade liked to wear jeans. And t-shirts or striped polo shirts. Wearing these things was “normal.” They all seemed to have them, as if by osmosis, they just *knew* this was the uniform. And sneakers. They liked to wear those too. Tube socks.

There was one kid who didn’t wear “the uniform.” I remember he had glasses and a purple velveteen jacket. His clothes weren’t “normal” and thus he was an outsider. But I think he was the kind of 5th grader who would have been disgusted to have lowered himself to the level of playing kickball and Little League. He was in the orchestra, an artiste. And he wasn’t, therefore, “normal.” But it was kind of a chosen path …

Now, my question is: was it wrong for those 5th grade boys to wear clothes that made them feel normal? Any more than it was right for the violinist to dress like a violinist?They felt safe and accepted wearing those clothes. And the violinist felt he was above it all in his velveteen jacket.

Those boys were being, in a word, “normal.” For that time and place, anyway. In their mimicking of another’s behavior, they were creating a group identity, which gave them a feelings of safety. They didn’t want to “stick out.”

Beyond Childhood

The desire to be normal stretches beyond childhood. We ask if we’re normal about all kinds of things. How much we watch TV. How much we exercise. Our love lives. How much alchohol we drink. We don’t want to be different than everyone else!

Because feeling oneself normal, for your average human, presents a feeling of safety. Just like it did for my 5th grade classmates. Being like everyone else means not being singled out. And humans generally hate being singled out.

Being “normal”, then, is not just a condition of enjoying the opportunity for connection with another human. It’s also not assuming the risk of being different. The question is, does that opportunity for connection take away from other people who don’t have it?

Where is the potential for evil in all this? Well, you have to look for it. The devil, as they say, is in the details. But lets start with what’s good about knowing an average, or a “normal.”

Benefits of Being Normal

When you go for a health check up, and the doctor says you are normal, that’s a good thing. If your driving is normal, you don’t get a ticket. In school, if your behavior is normal, your parents don’t get a phone call. Clearly there is a lot to be said for being normal.

Consider a bunch of elk running from a wolf pack. The normal elk run in a group and get away. It is the abnormal one, the weak one, that gets pulled down. So being up to speed — at whatever — in a group prevents the results of being behind the pack. Thus, being normal is safe.

Plus, there are many situations in human life when you have to meet a set standard to participate. Consider joining the military. If they let you join, you do not have a problem that prevents you. You are normal. In this situation, *not* being normal is a situation you have to deal with.

Certainly there are times when you don’t want to be normal. If you think about it, you’ll recognize a few. When you think most people are wrong about something … that happens a lot. And there are other times.

When Did “Being a Normal Person” Become Bad?

Some articles to note:

7 reasons why you should stop trying to be normal, Good Therapy

10 Reasons why normal is bad, from CBS News

How Being Normal Makes you Unhealthy, from Movementum, which basically calls out normal ways of living as being bad for you, not the actual normalness of this practices.

The current rhetoric, with its focus on “being authentically you,” could be at fault for the demonizing of the “normal.” The fact is that sometimes it’s good to be normal, and sometimes it’s not so good. Like when you look at the average waistlines of Americans.

This blog post on LitHub makes the case that “normal” entered the general vocabulary in the middle 1800’s, a transfer from math and drafting, into which statistics made its appearance and suddenly we have a world in which a “normal” man is a certain height, a certain IQ, a certain life expectancy. And according to LitHub, “Normal isn’t just not abnormal, but it is an upper-middle-class, suburban, straight, able-bodied, and mentally fit married white dude with 2.5 kids.”

That’s a pretty big leap. But let’s take it at fact value.

Come on, LitHub! Is that Really What it Means?

If this is who we are, should we be worried? Except for the .5 kid, which is kindof problematic …

Let’s just say right now, that in that quote you find the nut of the argument against normalcy. Normalcy is oppressive. It is classist. And anti-urban. It seeks to impugn persons with various lifestyle differences. Normalcy, according to this thinking is what makes the world bad!!!

So what this is saying is that we can’t have a normal type because it makes those who don’t conform feel left out? Only if you’re intolerant of the outliers is having normalcy problematic. One might say, there can be a great pleasure in being different. I certainly have enjoyed shocking people at times over the years.

Therefore, the problem is not those who assert that they are normal … it’s those who can’t tolerate being anyone being different. It was an old friend who said that the modern relationships theorists are “the new Victorians.” Intolerant, and unreasonable masquerading as paragons of humanistic virtue.

Some Seem Unable to Accept Even the Question “What Is A Normal Person?”

I have a counter assertion to the idea that being “normal” is inherently bad. That is that people who can’t tolerate similarity along with diversity make the world bad, and in a bizarre twist of rhetoric, they have made the question of “what is a normal person” into a bad thing. Saying something is normative if it’s not fools no one. This blog post from the Los Angeles Times High School Insider suggests that even some teenagers are offended when someone like Nike or Fenty Beauty flouts the “normal” and to perform virtue signaling and sell clothes. This behavior helps Nike, not the rest of us.

So how do we be responsible and equitable without lying about the fact that yes, Virginia, there is a “normal?”

We Can See the Concept of Normal as a Tool for Understanding

Sometimes, we need the information about normal measures to know if things are out of whack. Sometimes we need to plan ahead for the future and “what normally happens.” Sometimes we want to measure how well things are going, and the “normal” line tells us we’re really doing something right.

Sometimes the concept of the normal helps us know when things need to change. The moment when you realize “the situation (whatever it is) has gone too far” is helped by the realization that you are on the wrong side of normal, according to your own perception.

Does Anyone Not Want to Be Normal?

Yes. It’s called being counter-cultural and it’s everywhere. In fact, one might say that in the same way that there’s a ying for every yang, there’s about as much interest in being counter-cultural as normal. Especially for young adults.

Think: the flower power years got their start in being “anti-establishment,” the two political parties get most of their donations by pointing out the dangerous things “the other side” is doing, and kids in middle school still want to do whatever it is the teachers don’t want them to do.

Being counter cultural, or not normal, has been a major thrust of American political change since way back in 1776.

No, Of Course Normal Is Not Always Right …

So I’m not saying normal is always right. I’m just saying that there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with being normal. Normal is not a four letter word. We need that word … “nuance.” Normal could be good or bad. Just like most everything else in this world. Until you check it out and make an assessment.

To answer the question: What is a normal person? Are you normal? Consider the evidence, Oh Reader. You know the answer and If not, Google it. Consider what normal people do, in whatever area, and decide whether you’re doing it. I’m pretty sure what you’re going to find: you’re normal in many ways, not normal in others. Many of the times you will have chosen these responses and/or conditions overtly. Other times, you will have had the choice thrust upon you. But no one is all normal. Or all weird. We’re a combination.

And that’s a good thing.