If the question is where to meet guys over 50, I can offer you a number of good location suggestions and several considerations for success.But first, let’s acknowledge the truth is, it’s hard to meet new people. And when trying to date, it can seem like everyone has someone, and “all the good ones are taken.” Don’t be ridiculous, though. The good one’s can all be taken, you’re still available. Right?
Okay. But you know it isn’t easy. Even my son Andrew, aged 20, was complaining that dating sites are the only place you can meet people these days. “I’m not even old enough to go in a bar,” he noted. Everyone’s got problems.
I suggested that a bar was not a good place to find a date, although some might quibble. My point is, a lot of people have problems with dating, it’s not limited to you, me, and two other people in Alaska.
How Good a Catch Are You?
Dating is an active skill, and it’s also a numbers game.”
Matchmaker Carey Ganes.
But before you start window shopping, first of all, check your expectations. You’re not planning to marry Elon Musk, are you? Because that might just be really difficult. In fact, it might be hard to get invited to the same parties, even. For me, I think getting into the compound where he’s staying would be impossible, unless I was impersonating a waitress or something. By the same token, are you being realistic in your expectations about … for want of a better work, dating attractiveness? This is a problem that could shut the whole process down. How good a catch are you? How do you figure out?
Well, check your memory bank. Who has shown signs that they found you attractive? When? This will get you started. Someone of overall attractiveness like that person, that’s who you’re looking for. Like I said, Fabio is not available now, if he ever was.
I guess what I’m saying is to get love, you’ve got to be able to give love, and at this point, that means you’ve got to be able to love someone who’s in your ballpark.
So as long as you’ve got a reasonable level of expectation about who might be datable for you, and an outgoing personality, all you need is … a venue to meet people. Okay. Some ideas.
The First Five Places to Meet Guys Over 50
- Golf course, swimming pool, park, gym, yoga studio (I have actually met a couple decently attractive guys at ours) Yes, I know, if you don’t golf, etc, it won’t work, but I had to put it out there. Besides, you ought to have some physical activity.
- Church. It’s full of people. Many are in relationships, or even extended family groups, but at my local church I’ve seen a lot of guys in my age group attending alone. Sometimes glancing over.
- Volunteering in your community. Whatever interests you, you may meet people that you fall in well with. I’ve enjoyed volunteering to serve dinner at the homeless shelter. I have to admit, that’s got to be that absoluate worst place to meet people, but then, I wasn’t thinking about dating opportunities at the time.
- Meetup. Meetup is a great source of social contacts. The truth is, guys from Meetups I went to have asked me out. I wouldn’t give up on it, either; I’m going to a Meetup skiing event this weekend. Meetup events run the gamut from book clubs to dining out to weekend getaways to dog walking parties (yeah, I signed up for one of those too.)
- Friends. Most friends are initially reluctant to set you up with an acquaintance. But if you’re willing to search “places to meet men over 50” on the web, surely you’re able to mention to friends that you’re looking to meet people. I’ve known of more than one successful relationship resulting from introductions, including my son Victor meeting his wife on a blind date.
The Second Five Places to Meet Guys Over 50
- Have a party at your house, and encourage your friends to invite people they know. This might be a lot of effort, but it gives your friends an extra nudge to do the right thing and introduce you … and also will raise your social capital. As long as the party goes well.
- Taking a class or attending local lectures. This is a good way to meet people, and often you can switch hit, looking to expand your circle of friends and potential dates. Many lectures finish with a cocktail hour so you can work the party.
- Traveling with a group. You get to really know people. And that might lead to something. Or it might lead to more invitations which might lead to something.
- Dance halls. I know this sounds old fashioned, but around here, in Northern Colorado, some people from my favorite meetup have been going salsa dancing and they love it. Kinda like going to bars, but with something to do. And something that requires meeting others.
- Dating apps. Yes, I know. My posts about my three months of Match.com paint a picture that is not entirely rosy. In the end, I had to quit because after obsessing on the app, I no longer had enough strength to do the rest of my life. That said, I did meet several very nice men and I think, given time, online dating would work for a lot of people. Just be aware, as you may have read elsewhere, that it can be both all-consuming and emotionally fraught. Because people have to make snap judgements and getting to know people so quickly puts them in a position to be less than completely delicate with others’ feelings. More on my Match.com experiences here.
A Brief Annotated Bibliography of Articles on Where to Meet Guys Over 50
Huffington Post: 15 Places to Meet Guys Over 50 — I have to say, this list left me a little unimpressed. The grocery store? Although I once heard of a supermarket in San Francisco that was an absolute hookup haven, our local King Soopers is no such thing. And the dog park? Believe me, not our local dog park. Its full of “the people of (name-your-favorite-discount-store)” type folks.
Sheila Henry, Marriage Counselor — 8 Best Places to Meet Single Men Over 50 That Aren’t Dating Sites — Henry has a couple of good ideas, including joining a special interest club and church groups,
Sharability offers Matchmaker Reveals 7 Best Places to Meet Men Over 50 and beyond — Carey Ganes says that while there are some good places to meet men, having the right attitude is critical. You have to be willing to put yourself out there. Men like to ask confident women out, she asserts.
From Quora: “What Are Good Ways to Meet People Over 50 Without Going on a Dating Site?” — This page has a number of suggestions, but they are all pretty much similar to the above. What’s most interesting is how the people commenting are so angry and bitter. They actively criticize and run down the “prospects” they find at online dating. They claim the men they met are rude, take selfies with their teeth out, drink from a flask in parking lots … what I get out of this is the women didn’t really do what I suggested at the top, make a realistic self assessment of their own datability. Water seeks it own level, ladies. There’s a lot of fish in the sea, but the good ones are looking for someone that matches them. You might want to refer to my post what you need to know to stay healthy after 50 … because being healthy (mentally and physically) is attractive and will help you meet the right person. In fact, it’s probably pretty critical.
